


Darcy Doesn't Need SHIELD Training 101

by orderlychaos



Series: Secret Lives of SHIELD Agents [7]
Category: Marvel (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: M/M, Secret Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-18
Updated: 2012-08-18
Packaged: 2017-11-12 09:48:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/489527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orderlychaos/pseuds/orderlychaos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Well, its understandable how your information gathering skills aren’t any good yet,” the agent said mockingly and nearby a couple of other agents snickered.  “It’s down the corridor to the left.  You’ll know it, because it says Agent Coulson on the door.”<br/>Darcy thought it showed strength of character that she didn’t taze the asshole in the nuts.  Instead, she straightened her shoulders and glared at him, before heading towards Agent Coulson’s office.  They didn’t think she had information gathering skills?  Well, she’d show them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Darcy starts working for SHIELD and starts working out a few secrets...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Darcy Doesn't Need SHIELD Training 101

 

Darcy Lewis stared up at the large gleaming building in front of her and took a deep breath.  It was way too early on a Monday morning to be awake, especially for a newly graduated college student, yet here she was dressed in a suit and heels staring up at SHIELD’s New York offices.  She was ready for this.  She had a newly minted college degree and she’d passed SHIELD weapons training the second highest in her class.  Pepper Potts had even taken her out for a long lunch and explained everything SHIELD training hadn’t.

When it came down to it, SHIELD wasn’t all that different from college, except instead of running on gossip and alcohol, SHIELD ran on gossip and coffee.  Darcy already had the coffee part covered with the large vanilla latte clutched in her hand and thanks to Pepper, she looked kickass in her new suit and heels.

She could do this.

“You know, it’s a lot less scary on the inside,” a voice said from behind her.

Darcy was startled enough that she almost spilled coffee down her white shirt.  Spinning on her heel, she turned to glare at the man who had spoken to her.  “Tony Stark,” he greeted with a grin, holding out his hand.  “And you must be new because I would have noticed an agent as pretty as you walking around the office.”

Narrowing her eyes, Darcy had to admit the photos of Tony Stark didn’t do him justice.  He was tall, dark and devilishly handsome in a fitted suit that probably cost more than Darcy’s entire wardrobe - and he knew it.  Although, with eye-candy like that, working for SHIELD was going to be fun, no matter how annoying he was.  Pepper had been right; he was cute, but completely irrepressible.  “I know who you are, Mr. Stark,” she said, ignoring the offered hand.  “Do those lines ever work for you?”

Stark’s eyes glittered with amusement.  “Sometimes,” he replied.  “And you are, Agent..?”

“Lewis,” Darcy answered.  “I’m Agent Coulson’s new PA.  I also have blanket authority to taze you anywhere for any reason.”

“Oh, good luck working for Agent,” Stark said.  “That man doesn’t have a sense of humour at all.”

Darcy rolled her eyes and headed into SHIELD’s New York offices.  Stark tried to be a gentleman and hold open the door for her, but a large group of junior agents jumped on him in the lobby and Darcy was able to sneak into an elevator while he wasn’t watching.  This was her first day on the job and Darcy didn’t want to make the wrong impression by being seen being friendly to the man who was by all reports the one Coulson found most irritating.  She found the right floor with little problem, but somewhere between the elevator and Coulson’s office, Darcy became a little confused.  It didn’t help that every single corridor looked exactly the same.

Huffing a little in frustration, Darcy flagged down the nearest agent.  “Hey, could you tell me where Agent Coulson‘s office is?”

The agent looked her up and down and even though his face didn’t show it, Darcy was convinced he was sneering at her.  She felt her fingers itch for her tazer.  “You’re a newbie, huh?” the agent said.

Darcy resisted the urge to roll her eyes.  “Uh, yeah,” she said.  “Otherwise, I’d know where Agent Coulson’s office was and I wouldn’t be asking.”

“Well, its understandable how your information gathering skills aren’t any good yet,” the agent said mockingly and nearby a couple of other agents snickered.  “It’s down the corridor to the left.  You’ll know it, because it says Agent Coulson on the door.”

Darcy thought it showed strength of character that she didn’t taze the asshole in the nuts.  Instead, she straightened her shoulders and glared at him, before heading towards Agent Coulson’s office.  They didn’t think she had information gathering skills?  Well, she’d show them.

 

 

 

It only took Darcy a few weeks into her new career as a kickass SHIELD agent to realize just how effective information was as a commodity at SHIELD, gossip most of all.  Information helped navigate the minefield of which handler currently hated which asset; always made infinitely more difficult if Clint Barton was involved.  Information disguised as gossip about who was sleeping with who made it easier to get favours from people.  Information also helped anticipate Agent Coulson and since efficiency made Coulson happy, Darcy considered that a job skill.

However, since Darcy wasn’t a senior agent, she was left to gather information all on her own.  Being Coulson’s PA did give her a bit of an advantage, though.  She regularly came into contact with most of the senior agents and even the Avengers, although Fury still terrified the crap out of her.  The best part however was that she got to watch.  And eventually, everyone got so used to her, they almost forgot she wasn’t a senior agent and probably wasn’t supposed know half the things they were telling her.

Darcy loved it.

As if her thoughts had alerted him, Agent Coulson chose that moment to appear around the corner.  His last meeting had run late and Darcy could tell he was in a bad mood from his tight expression.  Immediately, Darcy grabbed the stack of files on her desk and the large take-away cup of coffee and fell into step beside the other agent as he headed past her desk towards his office.

“Agent Lewis…” Coulson began, but Darcy interrupted, already knowing what he was going to ask.

“Agents Johnson and Atwell have completed analysis on the Asgard situation, sir,” she said, handing Coulson the stack of files.  “Along with a copy of the New Mexico mission report and copies of all Dr. Foster’s notes.”

Coulson blinked, taking the files.  “Can you..?”

“I’ve already pushed back your meeting with Agent Sitwell until ten o’clock tomorrow morning,” Darcy said.

“What about..?” Coulson began.

Darcy hid a smile and handed Coulson the coffee.  “Careful, sir, it’s hot,” she said.

Coulson gave her a faintly bemused look, but at least he didn’t look grumpy anymore.  “I’m beginning to wonder what I did without you, Agent Lewis,” he said finally.

Darcy grinned.  “Me too, sir,” she said, before sauntering back to her desk with a wink.

 

 

 

The longer Darcy spent at SHIELD, the more she realized the entire office was like sorority house, only with more terrorists and deadly weapons.  Half the time Darcy considered her job was little more than babysitting junior agents and she was beginning to understand why Coulson was so grumpy half the time and that was just _scary_.  She just never expected to have to deal with it from the senior agents too, let alone Deputy Director Hill; yet Maria Hill was still sitting outside Coulson’s office looking like a fourteen year-old whose crush didn’t like her back.

Darcy didn’t so much have an office as have a little area with a computer and a desk in front of Agent Coulson’s office, but it was mostly out of prying eyes and no one really hung around anyway just in case Agent Coulson got cranky with them.  There were also a pair of nice cushy chairs for waiting and it was on one of these that Maria Hill was perched.  The fact that Maria Hill was actually waiting in one of the chairs was the biggest clue something was wrong rather than the vaguely upset expression on her face.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Darcy asked, breaking the hushed silence.

Maria Hill looked up from where she’d been staring at her empty coffee cup.  “I’m sorry,” she said.  “What?”

“I asked if you wanted to talk about it,” Darcy repeated.

Hill’s expression immediately hardened.  “There’s nothing wrong,” she said.

Darcy rolled her eyes, because very clearly there was something.  “Okay,” she said, turning back to the report she was typing.

Hill gave a frustrated sigh.  “The problem is, I don’t know what’s wrong,” she confessed, sounding irritated.  “Things have just been weird ever since I went to my sister’s wedding.  With Agent Woo.”

“Is this a funky-alien-artifact kind of weird, or the he’s-kind-of-cute sort of weird?” Darcy asked.

“Promise you won’t laugh?” Hill asked, looking up.

Darcy held up her hand.  “I swear on my honour as a SHIELD agent,” she said.

Hill stood up and walked over until she was sitting on the corner of Darcy’s desk.  Darcy turned to face her, hoping her face was showing the appropriate level of concern and not the excitement she was feeling inside.  “Okay, so I took Agent Woo as my date to my sister’s wedding, because my mother would be unbearable if I went alone and Coulson wouldn’t let me take Barton,” Hill explained.

Darcy nodded, storing that little fact about Coulson and the archer away in the back of her mind.  She knew Agent Barton from New Mexico and he was hot.  Darcy could see why Hill would want to take him as her date to a wedding.  “And it wasn’t bad,” Hill continued.  “Woo is actually kind of sweet and he fetched me drinks the whole night which was a definite plus.”

Hill paused.  “The thing is, I have a cousin,” she said.  “Pretty, blonde, curvy and every man’s type.  About halfway through the evening, I caught her totally hitting on Woo and I could have sworn I felt… jealous.”

“But you didn’t take Agent Woo as a romantic kind of date, right?” Darcy said and she felt like someone should give her brownie points for not even cracking a smile.

“No, of course not.  That would be ridiculous,” Hill answered.

“Did he agree to go out with your cousin?” Darcy asked.

Blinking with surprise at the question, Hill looked at her for a moment.  “Well, no,” she replied.  “He actually just smiled at her and then brought me back a slice of wedding cake.”

Darcy smiled knowingly, but Hill didn’t look like she understood the significance.  Darcy didn’t care what Coulson said, this was totally like college all over again.  “And do you think he’s cute?” she asked.

Hill rolled her eyes, but answered the question anyway.  “Well, he’s not completely unappealing in a suit,” she said.

“And now for the clincher,” Darcy continued.  “Does the thought of kissing Agent Woo – and I mean with tongue – completely gross you out?”

Hill opened her mouth to reply, but she looked like she had no idea what to say.  “Holy crap!” she muttered, stunned.

Darcy grinned.  “The reason you were feeling jealous was because you totally were,” she said.  “Face it, ma’am, you’re attracted to Agent Woo.”

Hill looked like she wanted to shake her head in denial but couldn’t because it was true.  “Holy crap!” she muttered again.

Darcy just kept grinning.

 

 

 

Six months after Darcy had first started working for SHIELD, she got what had to be the coolest part about working for SHIELD – clearance for the Avengers Tower. It was so much nicer than her apartment, because let’s face it, Tony Stark didn’t do anything by halves. Darcy wanted to kick off her shoes and scrunch her toes into the thick fluffy carpet, but she didn’t, because she was a professional and Coulson liked professionals. But damn did she want to.

Darcy spent the next few weeks delivering paperwork and fresh suits to Coulson and bonding with JARVIS, who was pretty cool for something built by Tony Stark.  Even though Darcy’s introduction to the weird world of SHIELD had literally been the appearance of a god, finding out that Stark’s Tower could actually talk to her had been a bit weird to begin with.  But JARVIS was actually quite funny and he always knew where everyone was and what they were doing and didn’t mind sharing that information if you asked him nicely.

Darcy walked into the Avengers Tower and smiled at the familiar greeting.  “Hello, Agent Lewis,” JARVIS’ voice said.

“How’s it hanging, J-man?” Darcy greeted.

“I am quite well, thank you, Agent Lewis,” JARVIS replied.  “Is there something I can help you with?”

“Cool,” Darcy said with a grin.  “I’m looking for Pepper.  Do you know where she is?  Also, I have something for Agent Romanoff to sign if she’s ninja-ing around somewhere.”

“Miss Potts is in her home office and I believe Agent Romanoff is in her room,” JARVIS answered.

“Sweet.  Thank you, J-man,” Darcy said and headed off towards Agent Romanoff’s room because she really did need to get that formed signed and there was a small chance that Agent Romanoff was slightly less scary when she was in her own rooms.

When Darcy got to the half-open door, she knocked carefully on the doorframe, even though she knew Agent Romanoff already knew she was there.  It never hurt to be polite to super-scary ninja assassins.  Then Darcy blinked because, wow, Agent Romanoff looked amazing.  She was standing near a full-length mirror, casually putting on a pair of diamond earrings and her green eyes stared at Darcy through the mirror.  Her ankle-length dress was some sort of fabulous deep purple colour and it showed off all her curves and quite a bit of leg through the slit in the skirt.  Even her stilettos were amazing.

“Damn,” Darcy muttered, almost completely forgetting why she was there in the first place.  “Please tell me you’re not going on a mission, because that dress should not be wasted on a scumbag.”

In the mirror, she caught Agent Romanoff’s smile.  “I’m going on a date,” she replied.

Darcy grinned.  “Then there’s one lucky person out there who’s in for a great evening,” she said.

“Thank you, Agent Lewis,” JARVIS said.

Blinking, Darcy looked up at the ceiling.  “J-man, are you dating Agent Romanoff?” she asked pointedly.

“Do you have a problem with that?” Agent Romanoff asked quietly and Darcy had to hold in a very embarrassing gasp when she looked down and realized Agent Romanoff was suddenly right in front of her.

Covering her jolt of fear, Darcy grinned and threw in a wink for good measure.  “Hell no,” she said.  “But I was going to tell the J-man not to do anything I wouldn’t, which, for the record, isn’t much.”

Agent Romanoff stepped back and smiled again.  Darcy was going to take that as a win, mainly because she was not bleeding.  “Is there something I can do for you, Agent Lewis?” Agent Romanoff asked.

Remembering her reason for seeking out the other agent in the first place, Darcy nodded.  “If I could just get you to sign this form,” she said, holding out the correct folder and a pen, “I’ll get Agent Coulson to process it first thing in the morning.”

Agent Romanoff arched an elegant eyebrow when she saw the form, but she signed it quickly.  “Thank you,” she said.

“No problem,” Darcy replied, storing the whole situation away as important information that was otherwise known as gossip.  And people still doubted her information gathering skills.

“Have fun, you two!” she called out over her shoulder as she left to deliver the rest of her files to Pepper.

 

 

 

Surprisingly enough, Darcy soon became friends with Clint over a shared love of sarcastic comments and using them Tony Stark.  It probably helped that more often than not whenever Darcy went looking for Coulson at the Tower, Clint was right there.  It sent Darcy’s gossip radar humming because no matter what people told her about Coulson being Clint’s old handler (and apparently the only one who can stand him for long periods of time) there was something more to it than that.  And Darcy never missed an opportunity to find out what.

“Nice scratches, Barton,” Darcy greeted and grinned from where she stood in the doorway as she admired the view.

Clint Barton lay face-down on his bed, white sheets pushed down to his lower back and leaving a whole lot of tanned skin and muscle naked and visible.  Several long, red scratches decorated his back, proving he’d had a lot of fun last night.  He reminded Darcy of a cat in a patch of sunshine, all smug and content.  Clint smirked into the pillow, but he didn’t open his eyes.  “Are you asking for details, Agent Lewis?” he asked teasingly.

“Nope,” Darcy replied.  “Unlike most junior agents, I am completely uninterested in the sordid details of your sex life.  I am however content to enjoy the view.”

Clint laughed, finally opening his eyes.  “I knew there was a reason I like you, Lewis,” he said.

“Section 46C of the SHIELD Agent Handbook,” she said.  “All agents must capitalize on any opportunity given to them to further knowledge or a situation pertinent and/or related to SHIELD.”

Clint’s smirk grew.  “Are you saying the sight of me half-naked is knowledge pertinent to SHIELD?” he asked.

Darcy grinned.  “I find it very pertinent,” she said.  “Besides, it’ll be related to SHIELD when I figure out which Avenger you’re sleeping with.”

She didn’t miss the way Clint immediately tensed and then relaxed at her words.  As if Darcy was close, but not close enough to the truth.  “And what makes you think I’m sleeping with an Avenger?” he said, clearly aiming to be flippant, but Darcy could hear the tension under his words.

“It’s simple, Barton,” she said.  “If it was anyone else, you would have either walked them to the door or been dressed already avoiding them.  Both of those options would involve you currently wearing pants and eating the delicious waffles Bruce is making in the kitchen.”

Clint sat up slowly, grabbing the sheet before it could slide down any further and sliding his hand out from underneath the pillow.  He gave Darcy a considering look and Darcy tried really hard not to be distracted by the large expanse of naked chest in front of him.  She was a SHIELD agent, she could do it.  Probably.

“There are other people than just the Avengers that spend most of their time in the Tower,” he pointed out.

Darcy blinked and yanked her gaze back up to his face, catching Clint’s smirk.  “Yeah, but that’s only Pepper and Agent Coulson,” she said.  “Are you trying to tell me you’re sleeping with either Pepper or Agent Coulson, Clint?”

Clint rolled his eyes and reached up to rub a hand over his face.  “And what’s wrong with Pepper?” he asked, waggling his eyebrows.

But Darcy’s attention had been caught by Clint’s left hand.  Her eyes followed it down as it rested on the sheets, before Darcy yanked her eyes up to Clint’s face.  His expression was an almost comical mix of apprehension and resignation.  “Oh my God,” Darcy said as she worked it out.  “Wow.”

Then she offered Clint a smile.  “I’m not going to tell anyone, Clint,” she said.  And she wasn’t.  Darcy had discovered that the best part about knowing things was keeping that information to herself.  “Besides, I’m pretty sure he’d tazer me, PA or not, if I told anyone.”

“Thanks,” Clint said.  “It’s not that we’re trying to keep it a secret, it’s just...”

“That you don’t want Stark and his loud mouth irritating you to death?” Darcy finished for him.

Clint laughed.  “That’s one way of putting it,” he said.  “Although, I think it’s only a matter of time.”

“Well, I promise,” Darcy said.  “No one will hear it from me.”

Nodding, Clint looked at her and then he blinked.  “Darcy, what were you doing in my doorway to start with?” he asked.

Darcy grinned.  “Bruce wanted me to tell you it’s time for waffles.”

 

 

 

It was later that week that Darcy’s life took a definite detour into strange – or at least more so than the average day at SHIELD anyway.  To say the sight of Agent Coulson sitting at his desk with the ghost of a smile on his face as he read over a large pile of paperwork was strange would be an understatement.  Coulson didn’t smile at work, at least not with his office door open where junior agents could actually see him.  Darcy wouldn’t have believed it if she hadn’t seen it with her own eyes.

Yet that was exactly what he was doing.

Of course, now that Darcy knew the most likely cause of that smile, she felt like it shouldn’t be so strange.  Except it really was.  “Okay, Boss,” she said, walking into his office with a large stack of forms for him to look over and sign.  “You’re smiling again.”

Coulson looked up and blinked, before sobering his expression.  “No I wasn’t,” he said.

“Uh huh,” Darcy said, taking the seat opposite him and placing the pile of folders in his in-tray.  “Sure you weren’t.”

Grabbing his cup of coffee, Coulson arched an eyebrow at her and took a sip.  “Was there something you wanted, Agent Lewis?” he said.

“Just have some updates for you, sir,” she said, nodding to the pile of folders.

“Anything interesting?”

Darcy smiled.  “Oh, I think you know most of what I know already.”

Coulson sat back in his chair and watched her, looking faintly amused and interested.  “Would you like to share?” he asked.

Darcy’s smile turned into a grin.  “Well, for starters, Agent Hill ended up taking Agent Woo to her sister’s wedding and by all reports they had a good time.  They also had a good time at dinner last week.  And they’re set to have a _very_ good time after drinks on Friday,” she said.

Coulson looked like he was fighting a grin.  “Impressive,” he said.

“Oh, that’s not all sir,” Darcy continued.  “Agent Romanoff and JARVIS have reached the potential cuddling stage of their relationship and by all accounts, Stark is still freaked out by JARVIS’ request to have a body built for him, except he’s too scared to say no in case Agent Romanoff does something permanent to him.”

Darcy paused and fixed Coulson with a sharp look.  “And of course, there’s always the old favourite of the fact that you and Barton got married, sir,” she finished.

Coulson coughed on his mouthful of coffee and glanced up to stare at Darcy for a moment.  “Very impressive, Agent Lewis,” he said.  “Something tells me you’re going to have a very bright future at SHIELD.”  He paused and offered her a small smirk.  “Just don’t let Fury catch you trying to learn all his secrets.”

Darcy stared at him with the deadpan expression she’d learnt from him and been practicing in the mirror ever since she had started working for SHIELD.  “But, sir,” she said.  “Whatever makes you think I haven’t learnt them all already?”


End file.
